


Bandies

by the_producer



Category: Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: 7 on weekends, Alternate Universe - Marching Band, Race has no common sense, Spot is a jerk (not really), all of the boys share 6 brain cells, all the newsies are in band because i say so, are there ships? who knows. i certainly don’t..., maybe sprace. i dunno. eventually..., no editing we die like men, self indulgent, someone stop this man, they’re all high schoolers so it’s kinda vulgar at some points
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2019-11-05 16:02:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17921972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_producer/pseuds/the_producer
Summary: The absolute foolery of teenagers? The complete buffoons we call the newsies?  A chaotic group chat that should be used for more important things? Combined with the disaster that is marching season? Perfect!





	1. Band Camp Day -1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the beginning of the shitshow! the bandies make some new friends, race almost gets murdered, and crutchie gets employed as a part-time gibberish translator

monday 11:36 

 

_jack-o-lantern created group chat_

 

_jack-o-lantern added wherefore-art-thou, crutchie, yer-erster, four-eyes, elmers-glue, and albert to the chat_

 

_jack-o-lantern renamed group chat: ‘band shit’_

 

**jack-o-lantern:** ay is this everyone

 

**yer-erster:** spot.

 

**jack-o-lantern:** ah shit youre right

 

**jack-o-lantern:** although, he doesn’t really like group chats

 

**yer-erster:** but he should be in the chat anyway.

 

**jack-o-lantern:** why? i’m just gonna leave him out for now

 

**yer-erster:** come on, let me annoy him.

 

**jack-o-lantern:** he’d kill me

 

**yer-erster:** what if I told him you didn’t practice your music and almost tripped over your own instrument?

 

**jack-o-lantern:** he’d never let me live that down and you know that

 

_jack-o-lantern added king-of-brooklyn to the chat_

 

**king-of-brooklyn:** Oh god

 

**king-of-brooklyn:** Oh no

 

**king-of-brooklyn:** Why'd ya have to add me to this

 

**king-of-brooklyn:** You're gonna single handedly destroy my phone with this shitty chat

 

**yer-erster:** uh, there’s only 7 people, and who’s single handedly doing anything here.

 

**king-of-brooklyn:** Oh god he’s here too

 

**king-of-brooklyn:** How do I leave the chat

 

**yer-erster:** ya can’t, sweetcheeks, yer stuck here with the rest of us.

 

**king-of-brooklyn:** Race if you type another word I swear to god you won’t live to see band camp

 

**yer-erster:** bold words coming from the man that’s smaller than his instrument.

 

**king-of-brooklyn:** Bold words coming from the man whos gonna be dead in approximately,

 

**king-of-brooklyn:** How long does it take to drive to manhattan from brooklyn

 

**four-eyes:** about 40 minutes, why?

 

**king-of-brooklyn:** No reason

 

**yer-erster:** jesus specs, why’d ya have to step in?

 

**four-eyes:** just doin my job

 

**yer-erster:** now i gotta go hide somewhere before mr sousa size comes to kill me in oh, 37 minutes.

 

**king-of-brooklyn:** I can make that trip in 15

 

**yer-erster:** jesus save me.

 

**jack-o-lantern:** guys can we focus on the purpose of this chat

 

**jack-o-lantern:** o shit hold on

 

_jack-o-lantern added kit-kat to the chat_

 

**jack-o-lantern:** did you guys practice the music over the summer

 

**crutchie:** Of course, jack, why wouldn’t we??

 

**four-eyes:** i did too

 

**wherefore-art-thou:** I’d be concerned if any of us didn’t, seeing as we get drill tomorrow.

 

**kit-kat:** If I find out any of you didn’t learn the music I swear to god you’ll all die before the first marching competition.

 

**jack-o-lantern:** eh hehh

 

**kit-kat:** Jack.

 

**kit-kat:** Jack Jack Jack.

 

**kit-kat:** You better not be saying what I think you are.

 

**jack-o-lantern:** pfff yeah of course I practiced.. what kind of idiot wouldn’t, am I right??

 

**yer-erster:** yous not helping yer case jackie boy.

 

**yer-erster:** we all know yous the only one who’s that dumb.

 

**king-of-brooklyn:** Race you of all people better not be throwin shade, seein as yous dumb enough to pull somethin with me. Anyways,

 

**king-of-brooklyn:** Yous got about

 

**king-of-brooklyn:** 5 minutes

 

**yer-erster:** oh god.

 

**kit-kat:** JACK.

 

**jack-o-lantern:** alright alright! I haven’t practiced it yet! i just didn’t have any time this summer

 

**kit-kat:** Jack you better get off of this chat and practice right now or so help me god, I’ll make sure you never see the light of day again.

 

**jack-o-lantern:** if this wasn’t marching season I would say that we don’t see the sun anyway

 

**kit-kat:** JACK.

 

**jack-o-lantern:** alright, alright!

 

_jack-o-lantern left the chat._

 

**yer-erster:** ha, spot, it’s been 6 minutes and I can safely say I’m not dead yet.

 

**yer-erster:** spot?

 

**yer-erster:** come on man, are you trying to be scary by being quiet? we all know you were jo

 

**elmers-glue:** oh no

 

**crutchie:** Oh no.

 

**four-eyes:** oh no

 

**albert:** oh no

 

**wherefore-art-thou:** oh no.

 

**kit-kat:** Oh no.

 

**elmers-glue:** race?

 

**elmers-glue:** raaaaaaaace?

 

**elmers-glue:** oh my god spot finally ended up killing him

 

**kit-kat:** Finally?

 

**elmers-glue:** he’s been talking about how he’s gonna kill him one day and it looks like that day’s come

 

**kit-kat:** Oh shoot, he’s the only good clarinet player.

 

**wherefore-art-thou:** oh boo hoo, you gotta find a new clarinet player. we’s gotta help cover up a murder.

 

**yer-erster:** giyebfieoobhesbtijwbrufint huoobke

 

**elmers-glue:** OH MY GOD HES ALIVE

 

**kit-kat:** What’s he saying?

 

**yer-erster:** gys im eruius he lioke euprr manr i thjk hes gonna wgutlwly kill me tjiw time

 

**wherefore-art-thou:** hey race use words.

 

**yer-erster:** IM THOMG WBILE RUNNING WEAY FROM SPOT HE IS AIPER NWD ITS RUPER UWRE TK THOE WJD TIN WWH TRO W TO LIN ET THE SAME TIME

 

**elmers-glue:** crutchie translate

 

**crutchie:** Uhh, first message: no idea.

 

**crutchie:** Second message: “guys i’m serious he *no idea* i think hes gonna *no idea* kill me *no idea* time.”

 

**crutchie:** Third message: “i’m *no idea* running away from spot he is *no idea* its super *no idea* at the same time.”

 

**elmers-glue:** gee thanks crutchie

 

**yer-erster:** GIYS OKEASE HES TETTING RESLLY FAST AND IN NIT SURE HOW KUCH LINGER I CAN RUJ PLRASE COKE DINT KENI JEED HELP

 

**elmers-glue:** crutchie

 

**crutchie:** Here goes: “guys please he’s getting really fast and i’m not sure how much longer i can run please come don’t *no idea* I need help.”

 

**elmers-glue:** sorry, no can do race. we’re too far away and also spot would kill us too

 

**yer-erster:** FUKC YOH ELMTR

 

**crutchie: “** Fuck you elmer.”

 

**elmers-glue:** wow rude

 

**yer-erster:** alright so im hiding right now, not sure how long until he finds me, if he finds me i want you to tell my family i love th

 

_yer-erster left the chat_

 

**elmers-glue:** rip

 

**crutchie:** You will be missed.

 

**kit-kat:** Goddammit.

 

**albert:** jesus fuck you guys, its been less than 30 minutes and i see that there was 100 message notifications for this goddamn chat blowing up my phone

 

**albert:** this is why spot hates you all

 

**crutchie:** Actually, 100 messages in 30 minutes isn’t that much!

 

**albert:** that’s 3 messages a minute

 

**elmers-glue:** yeah, divided up between 8 people

 

**crutchie:** Your best friend just got murdered by spot.

 

**albert:** last time i saw he was texting

 

**crutchie:** Look back a few minutes

 

**albert:** oh

 

**albert:** he probably deserved it

 

**albert:** im goin back to sleep

 

_albert left the chat_

 

 monday 8:58 PM

 

**yer-erster:** good news: im not dead. bad news: i’s got a wicked bruise on my shin

 

**crutchie:** You’re okay though! I thought for sure I’d have to lend you my crutches.

 

**yer-erster:** nah, but i might need those later.

 

_jack-o-lantern joined the chat_

 

**jack-o-lantern:** alright everyone listen up we’s got some new band kids comin in tomorrow, i added them to the chat so’s to get them used to everything before they show up. just be normal i guess

 

_jack-o-lantern added david-j, les-than-you to the chat_

 

**jack-o-lantern:** alright so we’s got ourselves some new kids

 

**jack-o-lantern:** say hi fellas

 

**les-than-you:** hi! im les and i’m doing props for you guys!

 

**albert:** oh finally! we actually get people working on props!

 

**david-j:** I suppose we’re doing introductions? I’m David, and I play the alto saxophone.

 

**jack-o-lantern:** oh

 

**jack-o-lantern:** we gotta fix so much about you

 

**david-j:** What do you mean?

 

**jack-o-lantern:** first of all, you type like an orchestra kid. who uses capitalisation and punctuation??

 

**david-j:** Anyone who knows basic grammar does.

 

**jack-o-lantern:** second of all, I’m your section leader and i gotta few problems with you

 

**jack-o-lantern:** i ain’t callin you david, with that and the grammar you definitely sound like an orchestra kid.

 

**jack-o-lantern:** yous davey

 

_jack-o-lantern changed david-j’s tag to davey-j_

 

**davey-j:** How did you do that?

 

**jack-o-lantern:** I made this chat, I get to set names for the chat. be nice

 

**davey-j-** If you set the names for the chat, what is going on with half of these names? “elmers-glue”? “yer-erster”?

 

**jack-o-lantern:** ya see, once something happens to ya or ya do somethin funny you’re then named after that

 

**davey-j:** So, explain please? “yer-erster?” “four-eyes?” “kit-kat?” “jack-o-lantern”? Etc. Etc.

 

**jack-o-lantern:** one year on halloween we had a marching competition and i turned up late. kat got so mad that after we marched she found a jack o’lantern and shoved it on my head.

 

**kit-kat:** You smelled like pumpkin guts for two weeks, but I don't regret it.

 

**jack-o-lantern:** race was once so high on benadryl that his accent got so thick and when he tried to say “the world is your oyster” it sounded more like “the woild is yer erster” and none of us could figure out what the hell he was sayin

 

**yer-erster:** to be fair, I’m pretty sure none of you guys would sound comprehensible if you had that much benadryl in your system.

 

**king-of-brooklyn:** Ooh, comprehensible is a big word, did ya have to look it up?

 

**yer-erster:** shut yer yap.

 

**king-of-brooklyn:** Watch it race; i’ll soak ya

 

**yer-erster:** not if i soak you first you big lump.

 

**yer-erster:** oh my bad, ‘you small lump’.

 

**king-of-brooklyn:** Race

 

**jack-o-lantern:** stow it, you two! im tryina orient the new kids

 

**jack-o-lantern:** katherine somehow managed to hit our band director in the eye with a kit kat on a band trip. he almost didn’t let her become drum major after that incident

 

**kit-kat:** I seem to remember you being the main problem in that situation, Jack. You threw it and I took the blame.

 

**jack-o-lantern:** the details ain’t important

 

**jack-o-lantern:** specs is four-eyes because it took him four whole years to figure out that the reason he was out of time was because he couldn’t see the director because he didn’t have his glasses yet

 

**four-eyes:** it was a relief to find out that all I needed was glasses and not a new brain

 

**jack-o-lantern:** with romeo it was obvious, as soon as I found out that he was in romeo and juliet in middle school (playing himself, funny enough), and as soon as specs told me how they looked for him during rehearsal it just happened

 

**wherefore-art-thou:** and I did a fantastic job, thank you very much.

 

**jack-o-lantern:** spot is quite literally the king of brooklyn. he walks home when it’s dark out and them muggers gotta watch out for HIM

 

**king-of-brooklyn:** Yous damn right I am

 

**yer-erster:** he’s definitely a king all right. a ruler, you might even say.

 

**yer-erster:** because he’s 12 inches

 

**king-of-brooklyn:** Thanks for the complement race, we all know you’re only about 4

 

**yer-erster:** that’s not what I meant and you know it!

 

**king-of-brooklyn:** Oh yeah? methinks that I’m right. wanna prove it?

 

**wherefore-art-thou:** whoa there fellas, save it for the private messages.

 

**jack-o-lantern:** yeah, keep it pg for the kids in the chat

 

**les-than-you:** just because I’m a freshman doesn’t mean I’m a kid!

 

**jack-o-lantern:** yeah, yous a kid

 

**jack-o-lantern:** besides, race, we all know it’s closer to 3

 

**yer-erster:** why jack I oughta shove your saxophone down your throat.

 

_king-of-brooklyn is typing_

 

**yer-erster:** spot don’t even do it.

 

_king-of-brooklyn stopped typing_

 

**jack-o-lantern:** AS I was saying…

 

**jack-o-lantern:** crutchie is crutchie because he hasn’t done anything yet besides break his leg (and we don’t use his real name anyway), and albert isn’t interesting enough to have a fun name yet

 

**albert:** ah fuck you, Jack.

 

**jack-o-lantern:** no thanks

 

**davey-j:** what about “elmers-glue”

 

**jack-o-lantern:** oh

 

**jack-o-lantern:** elmer ate glue once

 

**albert:** as I recall it was twice.

 

**jack-o-lantern:** elmer ate glue twice

 

**elmers-glue:** why can’t you guys let that go

 

**albert:** once would be normal. twice is just weird

 

**davey-j:** What on earth is wrong with you guys?

 

**jack-o-lantern:** oh, we’ve done worse

 

**davey-j:** You know what? I don’t want to know.

 

_davey-j left the chat_

 

**jack-o-lantern:** great. you scared off the newbie

 

**les-than-you:** i’m still here! and i’m new too!

 

**jack-o-lantern:** ah shit yeah

 

**jack-o-lantern:** uhh go practice your music or something

 

**les-than-you:** alright!

 

_les-than-you left the chat_

 

**kit-kat:** You all better get some sleep now, remember: you have to be in the marching lot by 7:00!

 

**jack-o-lantern:** UGH

 


	2. Band Camp Day 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> race finds interesting places to hide during rehearsal. jack makes a promise that he can’t actually keep, and katherine may or may not be a serial killer

tuesday 5:07 AM

 

 **kit-kat:** Good morning everyone! I hope you’re all ready for the first day of marching band camp!

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** Jesus katherine, its barely 5:00 and you’re already texting

 

 **kit-kat:** I’m already at the marching lot.

 

 **yer-erster:** kath, practice starts in 2 hours.

 

 **kit-kat:** Yes, but I thought I’d get here early so I could revise all of our warm up block assignments and music.

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** Kath, please don’t text this early again

 

 **kit-kat:** Why? It’s not like you’d be asleep anyways.

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** Don't you know? The king of brooklyn has his beauty sleep until 5:30!

 

 **yer-erster:** no amount of beauty sleep could fix that face.

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** Race I’m gonna stick you in my sousa case and leave you there all practice

 

 **yer-erster:** fine by me, I get to skip rehearsal.

 

 **kit-kat:** Guys, just get to rehearsal. I have some nice pouches with poker chips for you all when you get here!

 

 **yer-erster:** endorsing gambling, kat? didn’t strike me as the type.

 

 **kit-kat:** For marking your sets.

 

 **yer-erster:** buzzkill.

 

tuesday 6:41 AM

 

_jack-o-lantern added smalls to the chat_

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** so

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** does anyone have a spare reed

 

 **yer-erster:** not one that would fit your tenor.

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** damn

 

 **elmers-glue:** I heard bass clarinet reeds work for tenors too. got any of those?

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** no, I musta left those in my other pants

 

 **yer-erster:** turn around and get some reeds!

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** I can’t! I’m too far away from my house to make it there and back in time for rehearsal!

 

 **four-eyes:** I’m sure that kath has some

 

 **kit-kat:** In fact, I do have some spare tenor reeds.

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** oh thank god

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** you’re an angel kat

 

 **kit-kat:** But you’re going to have to run laps for them

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** NOOOOOOOOOO

 

tuesday 10:15 AM

 

 **elmers-glue:** race wanted me to remind you guys that you all suck

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** He said what now

 

 **elmers-glue:** yeah he told me you guys are bad at marching

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** How can he even see us?

 

 **yer-erster:** i have my ways.

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** Did you get out of the case

 

 **yer-erster:** i needed to use the bathroom.

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** Tmi

 

 **yer-erster:** i was in there for 4 hours!

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** That’s nothing!

 

 **yer-erster:** I KEEP MYSELF WELL HYDRATED.

 

 **elmers-glue:** on the bright side, the directors didn’t notice

 

 **elmers-glue:** also

 

 **elmers-glue:** race if they see you you’re dead

 

 **elmers-glue:** also spot because he put you in his sousa case

 

 **yer-erster:** nah i wouldn’t rat spot out like that.

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** Gee thanks, i’m touched, race

 

 **kit-kat:** Get your water and get back on the field!

 

 **elmers-glue:** yikes

 

tuesday 12:01 PM

 

 **yer-erster:** what if i showed up now?

 

 **crutchie:** Well, since we’re all eating in sections, i think they’d notice if you walked in.

 

 **yer-erster:** damn.

 

 **yer-erster:** why do we always eat in sections?

 

 **crutchie:** You’re asking me...

 

 **smalls:** hey!

 

 **crutchie:** No offence, smalls

 

 **smalls:** offence taken

 

 **davey-j:** You guys are complaining? I’ve heard Jack tell the same story about escaping detention seven times today.

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** it’s my best story!

 

 **davey-j:** Everyone here knows it by now! I’ve been here for one day and I already know it!

 

 **crutchie:** He has a point jack.

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** well you got any better stories?

 

 **yer-erster:** how about the time you shut up?

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** Nice one race

 

 **crutchie:** there’s the time you were so absorbed in painting backdrops for medda that you painted the whole flat, then continued onto the wall for about 4 feet

 

 **four-eyes:** what a classic!

 

 **yer-erster:** snyder gave you two weeks of detention for that!

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** that was pretty funny

 

 **kit-kat:** Lunch time’s almost over! Grab your instruments and head to the band room!

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** Always ruinin the fun

 

 **yer-erster:** so can i come in now?

 

 **yer-erster:** guys?

 

 **yer-erster:** whatever, i’m goin back to the case.

 

tuesday 4:49 PM

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** Race i did you a favor by lettin you hide in my sousa case

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** All we did was technique and long tones

 

 **yer-erster:** yuck.

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** next time can i hide in your case

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** Not a chance

 

 **yer-erster:** suck it, jack.

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** this is blatant favoritism!

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** It’s who-do-i-hate-less-ism

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** You just wouldn’t fit in the case that’s all

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** sure… you still hate me from that time last year when i switched all your music out for the music to shake it off

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** Yeah

 

 **yer-erster:** did they really not give you drill yet?

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** nah, the drill writer hasn’t finished it yet

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** the directors were p i s s e d

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** I thought pulitzer was gonna have an aneurism

 

 **yer-erster:** oh well, at least i didn’t miss anything important.

 

 **kit-kat:** Remember, everyone, we have evening rehearsal today! Be there by 7:00 with your instruments out!

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** yeah yeah, nobody’s gonna forget rehearsal

 

tuesday 7:31 PM

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** i may or may not have forgotten rehearsal

 

tuesday 7:54 PM

 

 **kit-kat:** God DAMN it jack.

 

 **elmers-glue:** jack where are you

 

 **elmers-glue:** i need you jack

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** hey; it’s not my fault

 

 **kit-kat:** why aren’t you here yet?

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** im already late i might as well not show up

 

 **elmers-glue:** we need you jack!

 

 **kit-kat:** The directors are making me come get you.

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** why?

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** race didn’t show up for the entire rehearsal today!

 

 **yer-erster:** but i’m here now.

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** not helping, race

 

 **yer-erster:** not here to help, jackie boy

 

 **kit-kat:** I’m on my way, jack.

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** UGH

 

 **yer-erster:** you’re just lucky spot’s too busy with his sousa to look at the chat.

 

 **yer-erster:** he’s never gonna let you live this down

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** That sounds dangerously close to a rickroll

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** shit

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** How do you forget about evening practice? Kath reminded us right after rehearsal

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** i was busy

 

 **yer-erster:** shit the directors are lookin at me.

 

 **yer-erster:** gotta go.

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** Good luck jack

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** with what?

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** Dealing with kath

 

 **kit-kat:** I’m here, jack.

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** SHIT

 

 

 

> tuesday 9:15 PM

 

 **kit-kat:** Let’s all learn from jack’s mistake today! Don’t forget about rehearsal!

 

 **kit-kat:** Also, great job today guys. Elmer, you did great covering for jack.

 

 **davey-j:** Yeah. Elmer had to cover your part and he was not happy about that.

 

 **elmers-glue:** you know i can’t play that high!

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** im sure you did fine before i got there

 

 **yer-erster:** he didn’t.

 

 **elmers-glue:** i didn’t

 

 **crutchie:** He didn’t.

 

 **crutchie:** Also i missed you jack.

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** thanks crutchie

 

 **kit-kat:** Everyone get to bed! Same time tomorrow morning! Don’t be late.

 

 **kit-kat:** Race, don’t hide in spot’s sousa case tomorrow.

 

 **kit-kat:** Jack, don’t forget evening rehearsal tomorrow.

 

 **kit-kat:** I can and will find you and kill you.

 

 **kit-kat:** :)

  
**jack-o-lantern:** jesus kath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> due to some technical difficulties chapter three will take a while. i’m having trouble transferring the chapter from my google doc to ao3 because the formatting keeps screwing up. stay patient.


	3. Band Camp Day 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jack is cyberbullied by the other bandies, they plan a funeral, and jack gains one brain cell. bets are placed, and money is lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i swear i didn’t mean to leave this for like 2 months i just forgot what band was like. band camp actually started for me a few days ago so it’s easier to write these chapters.

wednesday 5:10 AM

 

**kit-kat:** Good morning everyone! I hope you all are ready for another day of band camp! We will be getting drill today, so be sure to wear marching-appropriate shoes. That means no flip flops, jack.

 

**jack-o-lantern:** s too early for this

 

**jack-o-lantern:** was only once

 

**king-of-brooklyn:** For the love of god kath please

 

**king-of-brooklyn:** Text at a regular time

 

**yer-erster:** jack you’ve worn flip flops to rehearsal at least 5 times.

 

**jack-o-lantern:** this is cyberbullying 

 

**yer-erster:** i ain’t finished yet

 

**yer-erster:** you’ve worn crocks 7 times.

 

**yer-erster:** you’ve showed up in cowboy boots around 20 times.

 

**yer-erster:** once ya even showed up in high heels.

 

**jack-o-lantern:** what, yous keepin track?

 

**king-of-brooklyn:** He’s got a bet pool runnin based on how likely you are to wear what shoes on a certain day. He’s made almost 50 bucks 

 

**jack-o-lantern:** hot damn

 

**kit-kat:** I’m not sure that gambling is the best thing for you guys, but I agree. Jack, wear proper shoes for marching.

 

**jack-o-lantern:** can i at least get some of the earnings?

 

**yer-erster:** not a chance, cowboy

 

**kit-kat:** Wear. Proper. Shoes!

 

**jack-o-lantern:** geez get off my case

  
  
  


wednesday 6:32 AM

 

**albert:** so wait, we’re getting drill today?

 

**yer-erster:** get with the program albie

 

**yer-erster:** you missed the announcements at the ass crack of dawn.

 

**yer-erster:** the devil never sleeps, and neither does kath apparently.

 

**jack-o-lantern:** what’s the difference

 

**albert:** oh god you’re so dead

 

**jack-o-lantern:** i can feel her glaring at me

 

**jack-o-lantern:** this is the end boys

 

**jack-o-lantern:** you know what to do

 

**yer-erster:** play the yodelling walmart kid song at your funeral as a picture of you in that slutty cowboy costume from last halloween is displayed above your coffin.

 

**albert:** immediately after the ceremony we hand out individual wallet sized pictures of you in a different slutty cowboy costume that shows you making finger guns, as well as a magnet photo of you in yet another slutty cowboy costume, holding a fake pistol

 

**yer-erster:** i just don’t understand why yous got 3 different pictures of you in slutty cowboy costumes.

 

**jack-o-lantern:** i’s got around 6, i’ve done that every year for halloween since 7th grade, and multiple different costume parties 

 

**jack-o-lantern:** the 7th grade one is more tame though.

 

**jack-o-lantern:** be sure to give everyone links to the other pics, i’m proud of those

 

**albert:** alright, jack. 

 

**jack-o-lantern:** thank you. i can die in peace now.

 

**davey-j:** ?

 

**jack-o-lantern:** don’t worry bout it davey 

 

**kit-kat:** JACK

 

**jack-o-lantern:** nevermind, worry about it davey

 

**kit-kat:** GET TO REHEARSAL.

 

**jack-o-lantern:** the end approaches

 

**davey-j:** You will not be missed.

  
  
  


wednesday 12:05 PM

 

**yer-erster:** hi what the fuck.

 

**yer-erster:** any of you guys get weird ass drill too?

 

**albert:** whadda ya mean

 

**yer-erster:** oh, you know, 

 

**yer-erster:** goin from side 1, 20 yard line to side 2, 40 yard line.

 

**albert:** eeesh that’s bad, but not too bad

 

**albert:** how many counts?

 

**yer-erster:** 16.

 

**albert:** holy shit

 

**jack-o-lantern:** i think the drillwriter fucked up

 

**elmers-glue:** no, mine looks similar too

 

**davey-j:** Mine as well, although it’s 18 counts.

 

**kit-kat:** I’m sure the directors are aware of this and have something planned out, you guys.

 

**jack-o-lantern:** are you sure it’s side 1 and side 2?

 

**jack-o-lantern:** maybe yous just looking at it wrong 

 

**yer-erster:** maybe yous just stupid, jack, i know how to read drill.

 

**jack-o-lantern:** alright, alright, i was just tryin to help

 

**yer-erster:** well then go help somewhere else, jackie boy.

 

**kit-kat:** Start getting your instruments back out! Lunch is over in 10 minutes!

 

**jack-o-lantern:** jesus kath, sometimes i think you’re just a robot sending automated texts

 

**jack-o-lantern:** other times i remember how you always glare at me when i text something stupid and am reminded of your mortality

 

**yer-erster:** suddenly you sound more smart.

 

**yer-erster:** is davey’s intelligence rubbing off on you?

 

**davey-j:** Well, I have managed to stop him from drawing all over his sheet music at least twice already.

 

**yer-erster:** its a miracle.

 

**kit-kat:** Instruments out!

 

**jack-o-lantern:** ugh

  
  
  


wednesday 4:20 PM

 

**yer-erster:** BLAZE IT

 

**davey-j:** Very mature, Race.

 

**albert:** YOOOO

 

**jack-o-lantern:** YOOOO

 

**davey-j:** It’s no wonder the band directors have such a hard time with you guys...

 

**kit-kat:** Actual important message here! Don’t forget evening rehearsal!

 

**albert:** we ain’t gonna forget rehearsal

 

**kit-kat:** ...Jack.

 

**albert:** fair enough 

 

**yer-erster:** anyone willing to bet he’ll miss it again?

 

**elmers-glue:** 5 bucks he forgets

 

**albert:** 5 bucks he remembers

 

**crutchie:** 5 bucks he forgets.

 

**jack-o-lantern:** wtf crutchie

 

**crutchie:** Sorry, jack, i like to keep my money.

 

**jack-o-lantern:** i feel so betrayed 

 

**yer-erster:** anyone else?

 

**les-than-you:** i’ll bet 5 dollars he forgets again

 

**davey-j:** Les! You are not allowed to gamble!

 

**les-than-you:** a dollar?

 

**davey-j:** No.

 

**les-than-you:** 50 cents?

 

**davey-j:** No.

 

**les-than-you:** a quarter?

 

**davey-j:** …

 

**davey-j:** Fine.

 

**les-than-you:** alright!

 

**yer-erster:** alright! the pool is set, with elmer, crutchie, and les betting on jack forgetting, and albert all by himself, hoping jack remembers

 

**albert:** he’s not gonna forget two nights in a row

 

**elmers-glue:** not with that attitude

 

**jack-o-lantern:** i’m so glad my attendance is something you get to profit off of

  
  
  


wednesday 9:25 PM

 

**kit-kat:** Congratulations, Jack! You didn’t forget rehearsal!

 

**albert:** PAY UP BITCHES

 

**davey-j:** This is why we don’t gamble, Les.

 

**les-than-you:** it was just a quarter!

 

**crutchie:** Says you! I’m down 5 bucks! Why couldn’t you forget, jack.

 

**albert:** because he’s dumb, but not that dumb

 

**jack-o-lantern:** gee, i’m touched

 

**king-of-brooklyn:** He has a valid point though 

 

**davey-j:** It seems like it’s a big accomplishment for you at this point.

 

**jack-o-lantern:** yeah? at least i got accomplishments 

 

**davey-j:** If you count being able to eat 40 fruit roll ups in under 3 minutes, then yeah.

 

**yer-erster:** ooh, davey’s got some sass!

 

**les-than-you:** you shoulda seen him last time the family came to visit over the holidays!

 

**davey-j:** Les!

 

**yer-erster:** ooh, tea!

 

**king-of-brooklyn:** Race, never say that again

 

**yer-erster:** fight me, conlon.

 

**king-of-brooklyn:** Name the place, higgins

 

**les-than-you:** it was the best thing ever. i’ve never seen him as mad as he was then!

 

**jack-o-lantern:** go to bed, kid

 

**les-than-you:** i’ll tell you about it tomorrow

 

**davey-j:** NO YOU WON'T.

 

**yer-erster:** oh shit davey’s bustin out the capital letters.

 

**davey-j:** We do not need to share that story! Besides, it’s getting late.

 

**kit-kat:** I agree. Go to sleep.

 

**yer-erster:** spoilsport.


	4. Band Camp Day 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> catch these hands, race

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes i am aware that the last chapter was day 2, this isn’t an every-day-is-a-chapter work, it’s every couple of days because honestly? have you ever been in a group chat that has quality convos each day? i didn’t think so

friday 5:09 AM

 

 **kit-kat:** Good morning everyone! Let’s start off the last day of the week with good effort! Be sure to wear proper footwear!

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** Kath i swear to god i’m gonna throw your phone out the goddamn window if you dont. stop. texting. this. early

 

 **kit-kat:** No can do, Spot! Morning announcements are my job, and this is when they happen.

 

 **yer-erster:** just put your phone on silent or something.

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** I can’t, it’s my alarm

 

 **yer-erster:** then perish.

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** Fight me, higgins

 

 **yer-erster:** anytime, conlon.

 

 **kit-kat:** Just fight after rehearsal if you have to.

 

 **kit-kat:** We don’t need a repeat of last year’s incident…

 

 **albert:** says you! it was hilarious 

 

 **yer-erster:** well you’s up early

 

 **albert:** thought i’d see the morning showdown go off live, and so far it hasn’t disappointed

 

 **albert:** you and spot fight almost every single morning and it is  h i l a r i o u s to watch

 

 **kit-kat:** Wonderful to know, just get a move on!

  
  


friday12:07 PM

 

 **yer-erster:** come over to the woodwinds and fight me, spot.

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** Ew

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** Nasty reed players

 

 **yer-erster:** them’s fighting words.

 

 **yer-erster:** at least we aren’t spit players

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** Let’s go, higgins

 

 **yer-erster:** you’re gonna lose, conlon 

  
  


friday 2:30 PM

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** And i emerge victorious once again

 

 **yer-erster:** pure luck.

 

 **albert:** race you couldn’t win a fight against crutchie

 

 **albert:** no offence, crutchie

 

 **crutchie:** None taken.

 

 **yer-erster:** ultimate betrayal.

 

 **albert:** it’s true!

 

 **yer-erster:** and to think i used to call you my friend.

 

 **albert:** drama queen. go join theatre why don’t you

 

 **yer-erster:** maybe i will! at least they’d appreciate my talents

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** Talent for getting your ass kicked

 

 **yer-erster:** fuck off.

  
  


friday 8:20 PM

 

 **kit-kat:** Reminder that everyone needs to be taking their music home after rehearsal! I had to pick up way too many sheets of music left on the stands. 

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** Shit

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** Did you see mine? I don’t have it anymore 

 

 **yer-erster:** got it right here spot.

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** Oh thank you

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** For once I’m not mad at you

 

 **yer-erster:** 10 bucks to get it back

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** I take it back, you suck

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** Kath can I just get new music?

 

 **kit-kat;** If you run laps.

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** When should I pay you, race

 

 **yer-erster:** before i give you back your music.

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** Come on i need it

 

 **yer-erster:** cash up front.

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** Do you accept gift cards?

 

 **yer-erster:** …

 

 **yer-erster:** depends.

 

 **yer-erster:** where’s it for?

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** Starbucks 

 

 **yer-erster:** how much is on the card

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** 10 bucks

 

 **yer-erster:** deal.

 

 **kit-kat:** It would be easier for you to just run, spot.

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** I ain’t running laps just to get music, kath

 

 **kit-kat:** Suit yourself.

  
  


friday 9:45 PM

 

 **kit-kat:** Alright guys! It’s the end of our first week of marching band camp! On monday I’ll make announcements at 6:15, so be up. Meanwhile, be sure to practice your music over the weekend and get lots of sleep. 

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** we know the drill, kath

 

 **yer-erster:** you do? cause i sure don’t.

 

 **kit-kat:** Very funny, race. Your first playing challenge is next week, so you need to be practicing.

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** boring


	5. Band Camp Day 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spirit week day one: yes-tropical, no-paradise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: today was the first day of MY marching band’s spirit week. the fucking flutes won because there’s 7 of them and the drum majors base it off of which section has the highest percent of participation. yours truly, the clarinets, were in second place with almost 20 of us. go off i guess. basically i’m saying i know what i’m talking about with this spirit week shit.

> monday 5:30 AM

 

 **kit-kat:** Good morning, everyone! It’s time for the yearly tradition of spirit week! Today’s theme is tropical (hawaiian shirts, flowers, etc.), tuesday’s theme is hat day (the crazier the better), wednesday’s theme is school spirit day (wear the school colours), thursday’s theme is pajama day (as long as you can still march in them), and friday is your section day. 

 

 **kit-kat:** You will all have time to get together as sections to plan what you’re going to do on friday. Section leaders, you get to choose what you section does if you all can’t agree. Remember, the section with the most participants and the most creativity wins!

 

 **kit-kat:** The groups are: trumpets, clarinets & bass clarinets, flutes & piccolos, alto, tenor, & baritone saxophones, trombones & mellophones, drumline, front ensemble, and tubas.

 

 **kit-kat:** I don’t need to remind you all again that active fire is not allowed. 

 

 **kit-kat:** Including fireworks. 

 

 **kit-kat** No sharp objects either

 

 **kit-kat:** Or food.

 

 **kit-kat:** Including shellfish.

 

 **kit-kat:** Especially live shellfish.

 

 **kit-kat:** And other assorted live creatures.

 

 **kit-kat:** Pretty much everything that Race did last year is banned this year.

 

 **yer-erster:** aw kath you’re takin all the fun outta spirit week.

 

 **kit-kat:** Just let your section know what you’re doing this time instead of showing up like… that.

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** kath we already know all that stuff

 

 **kit-kat:** Obviously not… 

 

 **kit-kat:** Race...last year…

 

 **davey-j:** What happened last year?

 

 **albert:** we do not discuss the Great Golf Ball Calamity of 2018. 

 

 **davey-j:** But… golf balls aren’t anywhere on her list? And they have nothing to do with what IS on her list.

 

 **four-eyes:** you don’t want to know.

 

 **davey-j:** No, I want to understand.

 

 **albert:** further discussion of the subject was banned during the Golf Ball Act of 2018. 

 

 **four-eyes:** all you need to know is that it was a disaster. 

 

 **wherefore-art-thou:** i still have the scars

 

 **yer-erster:** shuddup, you didn’t get any scars.

 

 **wherefore-art-thou:** mental scars

 

 **four-eyes:** at least no one had any serious injuries

 

 **four-eyes:** except for…. you know….

 

 **albert:** we do not speak of him anymore. nobody’s seen him since last year anyway.

  


**four-eyes:** he was always our man...

 

 **wherefore-art-thou:** i think he joined journalism or something

 

 **albert:** WE DO NOT SPEAK OF HIM.

 

 **davey-j:** You know what? I think I know enough. 

 

 **four-eyes:** you're just lucky you weren’t there

 

 **davey-j:** I’ll take your word for it.

 

 **yer-erster:** alright specs, my plan’s shot. what’re we gonna do this year?

 

 **four-eyes:** shhh, don’t let them know, they’ll steal our idea

 

 **yer-erster:** yeah yeah you’re right.

 

 **kit-kat:** I’m going to have to make a full rule list this year, aren’t I?

 

 **four-eyes:** most likely

 

 **wherefore-art-thou:** we don’t want anymore...casualties

 

 **yer-erster:** he didn’t DIE.

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** let’s not dwell on the past

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** saxes, lets DO THIS

 

 **elmers-glue:** HELL YEAH

 

 **davey-j:** I’m not sure I understand what’s going on…

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** don’t worry davey i’m the section leader, i’ll help you out

 

 **davey-j:** Alright

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** oh my fuckin god 

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** he’s fuckin dead

 

 **kit-kat:** Why do you say that?

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** he didn’t use punctuation! that means that he was shot before he could finish the message!

 

 **davey-j:** I am not dead, I just forgot to put a period.

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** join the no punctuation squad

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** ONE OF US

 

 **elmers-glue:** ONE OF US

 

 **four-eyes:** ONE OF US

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** ONE OF US

 

 **yer-erster:** ONE OF US!

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** race you use punctuation 

 

 **yer-erster:** oh yeah.

 

 **yer-erster:** whoops, i forgot.

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** How do you forget the way you type

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** It’s the only thing you do consistently, besides make bets and annoy the shit out of people

 

 **yer-erster:** shut up, i ain’t that bad

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** This is why i put “annoy the shit out of people”

 

 **yer-erster:** it’s one of my many charms.

 

 **kit-kat:** GET TO REHEARSAL!

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** groan

 

 **yer-erster:** we can hear you complaining, jack, you don’t need to type it out.

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** GROAN

 

 

monday 12:10 PM

 

 **kit-kat:** The judging will take place immediately after lunch, so be ready! Make sure whoever is participating is ready, so that when the judges (me and the other drum majors) come by, we can accurately judge you.

 

 **davey-j:** *The other drum majors and I.

 

 **kit-kat:** Saxophones you all automatically lose.

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** what the fuck davey

 

 **kit-kat:** Just kidding!

 

 **kit-kat:** But don’t ever correct my grammar again.

 

 **davey-j:** Yes alright okay, will do.

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** keep it together davey we’s gotta win

 

 **yer-erster:** not a chance, jackie boy. the clarinets are tropical to the fucking MAX.

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** Think again, race. The sousas are gonna win this time

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** I even got the rest of the brooklyn boys to ditch the stripes and don the floral print.

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** They still cut the sleeves off, but it’s the thought that counts

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** holy shit

 

 **yer-erster:** alright yeah that’s fair.

 

 **kit-kat:** 10 minutes!

  


 monday 12:30 PM

 

 **kit-kat:** Congratulations to the sousaphone section! You won the first day of spirit week, and will be taking home the spirit stick

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** HELL YES. WE GET TO DECORATE THE PLASTIC BASEBALL BAT

 

 **kit-kat:** Spirit stick.

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** It’s a baseball bat

 

 **kit-kat:** You know what? Sure. Call it a baseball bat.

 

 **yer-erster:** we’re gonna win next time, spot.

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** in your dreams, race

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** the saxes have a great plan for tomorrow

 

 **albert:** ladies, ladies

 

 **albert:** none of that matters

 

 **albert:** what matters is friday

 

 **yer-erster:** and i’m gonna fucking win on friday.

 

 **elmera-glue:** i guarantee you won’t

 

 **yer-erster:** 15 bucks my section wins.

 

 **albert:** 15 bucks MY section wins

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** Can you guys shut up for a sec

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** Can you all hear that?

 

 **yer-erster:** hear what?

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** That’s the sound of me,

 

 **king-of-brooklyn:** Winning

 

 **kit-kat:** Get your instruments out!

 

 **yer-erster:** ugh

  


monday 8:56 PM

 

 **kit-kat:** Today was a wonderful start to spirit week! Congratulations again to the sousaphones. Tomorrow’s theme is hat day! The crazier, the better! Judging will take place at the same time tomorrow, so be sure to bring your A game.

 

 **yer-erster:** don’t even bother guys, i’m gonna absolutely wreck your shit.

 

 **four-eyes:** we’re gonna wreck your shit

 

 **yer-erster:** oh yeah i forgot we actually planned stuff this year.

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** keep on dreaming, race

 

 **elmers-glue:** we’s gonna beat you

 

 **yer-erster:** WE’RE gonna absolutely fuckin shred your shit up.

 

 **kit-kat:** Save the trash talk for tomorrow, boys, it’s time for you all to go to bed.

 

 **jack-o-lantern:** yes mom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don’t get used to having 3 chapters in one day, im running out of chapters that i’ve previously written.

**Author's Note:**

> im gonna keep putting new chapters out there, but the amount of feedback i get will determine how fast i turn those chapters out


End file.
